Favorite Student Quotes

Student1: “Miss Lewis, you have clown hair. The way it is curly and hangs down.”

Student 2: “That’s really mean. Miss Lewis is nice. Why would you say that?”

Student 1: “Okay. Well… all I meant was… Well…with your long hair, you look like Benjamin Franklin did… if he were a clown.”

Student 2: “I think you should just stop talking.”

Student 1: “What? I had to be honest. I haven’t told her all year.”

(Ironically, this was the same student whom I referred to as the Abominable Snowman in an earlier blog post. Touche karma, touche.)
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Me: "Our new word is "sensational." We had the word "sensation" when we read "Flowers for Algernon." We talked about how Charlie would be quite the sensation after his brain surgery."

Student: "That's not what you said. You talked a lot about Justin Bieber. You said he was the greatest sensation ever."

Me: "That's right. And don't you forget it."
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Student: "You can't be pregnant and go to college."

Entire Class in unison: "Yes you can."

Student from before: "You can be pregnant and go to college! Who said that?"
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A Typical 8th grade spat:
Student 1: "Shut your face, or I'll shut it for you."

Student 2: "You shut your nostrils."

Student 3: "Oh, that's a good one!"

Student 4: "Miss Lewis, what are nostrils?"
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Student 1: "I think it's kind of sad that people get so excited about Black Friday."

Student 2: "Black Friday? What? That's racist."

Student 1: "No it's not. I would just hate to be the one who got Black Friday named after him."

Me: "What are you talking about?"

Student 1: "Don't they call it Black Friday because that one guy got trampled at Walmart last year?"

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Student: "Miss Lewis, this is a beef and bean burrito conversation. Nachos! I just made that up."

Me: "You don't say."
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Me: "No. I did not have a cell phone when I was in 8th grade."

Student: "Right. They didn't have those back in the '50s."
(For the record, I was born in 1977)
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Student: "Miss Lewis, you're room actually smells good today... except for over by the pencil sharpener. Over there it's like a cloud of bad breath."
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As I stood at the door greeting my 1st Block, a student came up beside me, made sure no one was looking, and pulled a small metal object out of his pocket.

Student: "Miss Lewis, that book you gave me is so good, I brought my book light so I could read it on the bus." (Thank you Suzanne Collins & your Hunger Games series!)
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Me: "My birthday was Saturday. I'm telling you, October is a great month to be born in."

Student: "Oh, and don't forget it's also birth cancer awareness month."
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Student: "Miss Lewis, E- made me pee on my hand."

Me: "He made you pee on your hand, or you were messing around and peed on yourself?"

Student: "No. He made me do it."

Me: "Well, Did you at least wash your hands with soap and water?"

Student: "I washed this hand."

Me: "How do you wash one hand with soap and water? You know what? Let's just rewash both of them for everyone's safety."
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Student: "Miss Lewis, do you like J. Lo?"

Me: "No. Not really."

Student: "Why not? Aren't you Mexican?"

Me: "No... and neither is J. Lo."

Student: "What?"
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A veteran teacher's advice to me: The key to teaching middle school is this: "If the students don't meet your standards, you just need to lower your standards."
(I hope that man is retired.)
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Me: "J-! We do not smother our classmate's heads in our bosom!"

Student: "Well you tell him to quit pulling on my weave!"
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Student: "Miss Lewis? Why does your class have to suck so much?"