Parent Teacher Conferences... round 2

One of my favorite students stopped by between, setting up for the school book fair, and conference time to hang out. After the events of our last Parent Teacher Conferences, and the enlightening conversation about the Chilean Miner rescue, I immediately got my computer out and started typing. I couldn’t keep up, but here’s a taste of what ensued:

Student: “People think I’m a nerd. I’m not really a nerd. I just know things… but I do want to get one of those ‘NERD’ shirts like yours though. Oh my mom had a friend who was in gifted-and-talented when she was in high school. I’ve known her forever. They paid her way to go to college. Hey Miss Lewis, do you have your iPad with you? I was going to ask you if I could play with it.”

Announcement: “Mr. Vogel, Please come to the office.”

Student: “Hee hee hee. Did they just say Mr. Vogel?”

Me: “Yes. Yes they did. Why do you know who Mr. Vogel is?”

Student: “No, it’s just funny because that’s a car.”

Me: “Nope. That’s Volvo.”

I suggest that the student get out a netbook and work on our class blog or play some games. It gets quiet… for a while…

Enter four girls with no place to go. They also get on a computer. For the next hour, I listen to a whole lot of Katy Perry being “sung” at me, along with a slew of, “Come here and look at this” as they Google pictures of Justin Bieber and Taylor Lautner to ogle over. Then the musical renditions of Evenessance starts…

Skip ahead 20 minutes. The girls are driving me insane so I suggest they go elsewhere. They do. It’s quiet.

Me: “So what are you going to do over break?

Student: “I’m going to go to my uncle’s. I’m just going to hang. Probably get an Adventureland pass. Last year I didn’t go much, but I’m thinking this summer I’ll go on Monday through Thursday, not every day, maybe just Monday, Tuesday, and Thursdays, but I like Friday's too. Hey How do you get carpal tunnel from texting? Because on 1,000 Ways to Die there was a lady who had type 3 carpal tunnel from texting and she went to get some stress relief from acupuncture and she went to grab her phone and she fell and the needle went through her head. Oh, I like that Final Destination movie. It's crazy. Well, I don't like 2, 3, or 4; I like the first one. It was crazy. I want to see the new movie Paul with the alien. It looks really good but I’m not old enough to go. I’ll see if my step-mom can take me. I’ll go with her if she wants to see it. But she won’t get it. She’s old. She’s not young like me. You would get it because you’re funny, but she’s just old and not funny. I get driver’s permit soon. I’m a good driver. I’ve driven across town before on my own. I did really good, I just have problems with my turns. I’m more safer than my sister. It takes her forever to pull out of the driveway.

Now the girls have returned with all of their Katy Perry glory. I make them clean my desktops while they argue over which is better; Subway or Quiznos…

Current Events: Chilean Miners

So I’m sitting in my room getting ready for Parent Teacher Conferences, and a student decided to hang out with me to make some signs for our yearbook sales. While he was working I suggested we turn the TV on so we could follow the rescue of the Chilean miners. I turned the TV on, and the following conversation (and I use that word liberally) transpired

Me: Let’s see how the rescue is going. When you guys got out of class, they had just pulled out number 17.

Student: 17 what?

Me: They had pulled out 17 of the miners who were have been trapped underground. Don’t you know about the miners?

Student: Oh. No. I didn’t watch the news today.

Me: These guys have been trapped for 70 days.

Student: Oh yah. I know now. My brother texted me about that.
……
Student: So, why do they keep calling them minors? Why don’t they call them kids.

Me: They work in a mine. They are miners. M-I-N-E-R-S not O-R-S. 33 men were working in the mines and the entrance collapsed and they’ve been trapped underground for 70 days, and last night they started to pull the men out.

Student: Oh. I know what you mean now. Like that Sandra Bullock movie with Bradley Cooper and she fell in that hole.

Me: No. Not like that movie. That movie was stupid.
……
Me: Oh, you spelled lobby wrong.

Student: L-O-B-B-E-Y…Lobbeeee.

Me: Nope. Still wrong.

Student: Miss Lewis, do you like Twilight?

Me: Nope.

Student: Well I watched New Moon at my aunt’s house and it was like (He proceeds to reenact the scene where Bella starts bleeding and get’s thrown into the bookshelf… while talking so fast I couldn’t possibly understand him, then finishes with) and then I laughed. It was stupid

....
Student: Have you ever heard of the Die Hard series?

Me: Yep. Those are old.

Student: How old are you?

Me: 80. My subway diet keeps me looking young and fresh.

Student: Wow.

Me: I’m kidding. I’m not 80. I’m 32.

Student: Oh, I was going to say 80? You don’t look like you’re over 20.
....
Student: I want one of those. (in reference to the motorized scooter commercial) I want to run it down the stairs. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh…
....
Student: Look at this poster. It’s my second goodest one.

Me: Oh kid. Goodest? Your goodest one?

Student: Oh. I mean, my second one from being my best.
……
Student: How do you spell dodgeball? I need a drink. My throat’s dry.