So I’m sitting in my room getting ready for Parent Teacher Conferences, and a student decided to hang out with me to make some signs for our yearbook sales. While he was working I suggested we turn the TV on so we could follow the rescue of the Chilean miners. I turned the TV on, and the following conversation (and I use that word liberally) transpired
Me: Let’s see how the rescue is going. When you guys got out of class, they had just pulled out number 17.
Student: 17 what?
Me: They had pulled out 17 of the miners who were have been trapped underground. Don’t you know about the miners?
Student: Oh. No. I didn’t watch the news today.
Me: These guys have been trapped for 70 days.
Student: Oh yah. I know now. My brother texted me about that.
Student: So, why do they keep calling them minors? Why don’t they call them kids.
Me: They work in a mine. They are miners. M-I-N-E-R-S not O-R-S. 33 men were working in the mines and the entrance collapsed and they’ve been trapped underground for 70 days, and last night they started to pull the men out.
Student: Oh. I know what you mean now. Like that Sandra Bullock movie with Bradley Cooper and she fell in that hole.
Me: No. Not like that movie. That movie was stupid.
Me: Oh, you spelled lobby wrong.
Me: Nope. Still wrong.
Student: Miss Lewis, do you like Twilight?
Student: Well I watched New Moon at my aunt’s house and it was like (He proceeds to reenact the scene where Bella starts bleeding and get’s thrown into the bookshelf… while talking so fast I couldn’t possibly understand him, then finishes with) and then I laughed. It was stupid
Student: Have you ever heard of the Die Hard series?
Me: Yep. Those are old.
Student: How old are you?
Me: 80. My subway diet keeps me looking young and fresh.
Me: I’m kidding. I’m not 80. I’m 32.
Student: Oh, I was going to say 80? You don’t look like you’re over 20.
Student: I want one of those. (in reference to the motorized scooter commercial) I want to run it down the stairs. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh…
Student: Look at this poster. It’s my second goodest one.
Me: Oh kid. Goodest? Your goodest one?
Student: Oh. I mean, my second one from being my best.
Student: How do you spell dodgeball? I need a drink. My throat’s dry.